Songs from Bang Bang It's Reeves & Mortimer

Farmyard Shite

I am gonna to Hollywood,
I am, I’m gonna be a big star,
my name in lights and stretched limosine,
a house in Beverly Hills you know what I mean,
I’m gonna be a great big movie star.

You are talking out of your arse son,
you can’t appeal to anyone,
you sit around in your grubby little pants,
with your packet of biscuits and a pen in your hands,
that is when your hand isn’t down your grubby little pants.

You’ll see, nobody can stop me,
my name is going down in history.

You write all your letters to MGM,
on your exercise book with your booky’s pen,
nobody in Hollywood will be receiving them.

Why has nobody been receiving them?
Has someone, someone been diverting them?

Yes it was me, I broke into your flat,
and nicked all your letters from your Scooby Doo bag,
then buried them under a pile of farmyard shite.

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Hoover

I’ve got a new hoover, what do you think of it?
I’ve got a new hoover, I’m over the moon with it.
it’s got what can only be described as a headlamp on the front,
adjustable height and a low maintenance filter.

I sold him that hoover, it’s a pile of shit,
I sold him that hoover, what’s left of it.
It couldn’t suck off a fly from your carpet if it tried,
and the low maintenance filter, I lied.

So it’s useless is it?
Yep.
Well can I have my three hundred quid back?
No, I’ve spent it Vic.
What on?
A new hoover of course.

Do you still love me?
Yes, I suppose so
Are you still angry?
Yes just a little
Well you should thank your lucky stars I didn’t make you pay a delivery charge.

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Nightfall

Nightfall, nightfall, nightfall,
Nightfall, nightfall, nightfall,
nightfall makes me sexy,
nightfall makes me bad,
nightfall makes me randy,
nightfall makes me glad.

To be a man,
to understand a man’s world,
a man’s curls.

We run like men,
we jump like men,
we hold our hands in the air like men,
when nightfall comes we hold our hands,
and make a little ? about the pots and pans.

Nightfall, nightfall, nightfall,
Nightfall, nightfall, nightfall,
nightfall is the time when a man goes to the woods,
to get his act together and explore his own manhood.

Be a man,
and understand a man’s world
a man’s curls.

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Sniff Ya

We’re the kinda guys who look you in the eyes and sniff ya,
we’re the kinda guys who creep up from behind and lift ya.

We’re not the kinda guys to take you by surprise,
and push blackberries into your eyes, no no.

We’re the kinda guys who look you in the eyes and sniff ya,
we’re the kinda men who every now and then will touch ya.

We’re the kinda men - don’t wish to offend - as we buff ya,
we’re not the the kinda guys to stick a rocket up ya ass,
and send you on a journey to the stars, no.

We’re the kinda guys who look you in the eyes and sniff ya,
sniff ya, sniff ya, sniff ya, sniff ya, sniff ya.

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