Songs from Mulligan & O'Hare

Chimney on Ya

What ya gonna do with a chimney on ya?
What ya gonna do with a chimney on ya?
What ya gonna do with a chimney on ya?
What ya gonna do with a chimney on ya?

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Country Style

We’re out and about in the country
We’re feeling good about each other
I’m listening to my Chumbawamba album
I’ve wrapped my beard around a mushroom
We’re having dinner with a very old lady
We’re living country style, country style, country style

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Donkey Derby

The day the donkey derby came to town,
the people came to watch from all around,
alas we didn’t see who won the race,
’cause the supergroup The Who swooped down from the moon,
and squirted tartar lemon in our face.

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Taken from Moods, Smell series 1 episode 2

Frustrated by Weeds

As I gaze into a pool to receive a reflection of me,
I’m ultimately frustrated by the presence of too many weeds,
however much I try to push them aside,
they constantly return to frustrate me.

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Taken from Moods, Smell series 1 episode 2

Gérard Depardieu

I am me.
And you are you.
And you are I.
And I am too.
But, somebody obscures my view of you.
Really, who?
Gérard Depardieu.

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Taken from Moods, Smell series 1 episode 2

Honda

We’ve just fell off a Honda.
My legs are in that tree.
I see you’re wearing those shoes again.
The ones from Italy, yes.

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Taken from Coffee Break, Smell series 2 episode 4

Hotdogs For Sale

Hotdogs for sale!
Where, where?
Hotdogs for sale!

But where, but where, but where?
Over there by the beef burgers.

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Taken from Coffee Break, Smell series 2 episode 4

House on Fire

House on fire!
What kind of house?
Terraced house
Where abouts?
Sidcup
Pop Tarts on fire!
Arsenips!
Nuts and arse on fire
Dustbuster

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I’m Not Saying I Didn’t Love You

I’m not saying I didn’t love you,
or that I’m happy that you’re dead,
but my doctor did advise you, to keep a rifle by your bed.

I’m not saying I didn’t kill you,
but aren’t you partially to blame,
you gave me chocolate digestives,
when you knew I prefered the plain.

I’m not saying I’ll forget you,
but please remind me of your name,
my memory’s somewhat distorted,
since I became insane.

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Taken from Coffee Break, Smell series 2 episode 4

My Rose Has Left Me (part 1)

My Rose has left me,
I’m in a mood,
she’s gone to Kenya with the bloke from Allied Carpets.
She wasn’t immunised, that’s a legal requirement,
she’s increasingly slapdash,
since we bought that new hearth rug.

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Taken from Moods, Smell series 1 episode 2

My Rose Has Left Me (part 2)

My Rose has left me,
I’m in a mood,
she went to Kenya.

We couldn’t have children,
that didn’t stop us from trying,
we were turned down for adoption,
because of her bizarre appearance.

Oh, Rose how we loved you,
but where are you now?
Alone with your salesman, you adulterous cow.

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Plate Fungus

I’m over here!
I’m over here!
And I’m up here so high in this tree,
oh my friend can you see me?
No my friend I can’t see you,
this plate fungus obscures my view.

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Taken from Moods, Smell series 1 episode 2

Special Drawer

In our home, in our special drawer,
we keep all the items we adore,
yes, in a sterilised cabinet they are kept,
and the surrounding environment, regularly swept,
oh, they are little things tiny things,
like drawing pins,
midges wings,
and dew drops,
wasp plops,
a grass leaf,
babies’ handkerchieves,
and these little walking sticks.

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Taken from Pancake Day, Smell series 2 episode 2

Treatment

I’m not saying I didn’t love you,
I’m just saying that I can’t,
until I complete my treatment,
we must remain apart,
I’m not saying when I’m treated,
I’ll be the man I used to be,
you’ll have to make adjustments for my new personality.
I’m not saying I’ll never love you or that our love will never be,
but until I get my mind fixed you must keep away from me.

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Taken from Pancake Day, Smell series 2 episode 2

Rock and Roll

I like rock and roll music,
I like Elvis flamin’ Presley,
I like Dwain bleedin’ Eddy,
and that other bleep Bill Haley,
I like rock and roll music,
and we’ll prove it to you now.

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Taken from Coffee Break, Smell series 2 episode 4

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